Mommy Guilt and its Power to Destroy

Nothing can be more annoying than that niggling fear that you must being doing something wrong.  As a mommy to two of the most wonderful children in the world I can tell you that I have also stared at the monster and lost.  Try as I might I am not perfect and neither are my children, so I'm not sure why I then expect everything to go perfectly.  The guilt that I have done something wrong can be strong.  Sometimes for good reason.  Other times its the world yelling its messages,  bound to seek out and destroy.

Here are two examples from our life right now that show the monster creeping in.  First, Hannah is in the throws of potty training.  It is going quite well but not without its bumps along the way.  Everybody in the world, including the cat lady down the street has an opinion on how to potty train your child. When it should be done, the signal that yes the narrow window is open and you should jump before it closes again.  Should you train using a regular toilet or use a potty seat.  What about rewards and prizes, should external motivation be used or avoided lest your child never go just to go?  Wow you waited until Hannah was 2.5, yikes little Suzy has been off diapers since she was 11months old.  You just got to do it, why are you so lazy?

Ethan, had his 18 months vaccinations today.  If you are a parent who has vaccinated their child in the recent past, enough said.  Everyone has a passionate opinion.  Everyone's opinion is based on fact (maybe/maybe not).  In the last 3 years, 6 months, 9 days that I have either been pregnant or had children I have been inundated with the messages.  Do not ruin your children, you must "_______" and most especially you must not "_________".  Fill in the blank from my list of topics below:

Take prenatal vitamins before your even pregnant
Avoid things like caffeine while pregnant
Breastfeed vs bottle feeding children
Use this bottle not that one it causes colic, actually use this bottle its made out of glass not plastic (you need to avoid BPA's).
having a perfect nursery
having the best baby equipment, supplies etc
C-Section vs natural delivery
Drugs while in labour
Home birth vs hospital birth
Co-sleeping
Attachment parenting
Letting your child cry it out
Feeding your child solids- organic, homemade, from a jar oh my.
Vaccinations
Wood toys vs plastic toys
Soothers-to give them, to avoid them, and when to take them away
how to diaper your child
When to teach your child to read.
Socialization
Spanking and other forms of discipline.

I could go on indefinitely.  There are a few things along the way that I have learned.  Most importantly, I am learning to keep my opinions to myself.  Second, I have learned that, while people may have extremely vocal and passionate views on any topic, it is OKAY not to agree.  Every parent, family, and child is different and the situation they find themselves in is also different.  That is OKAY.  Thirdly, do your own informed research and make a decision that fits your family.  If you make a mistake, get back on the horse and try again.  Finally, find a friend that has a similar parenting and lifestyle as your own and help each other.  Be encouraging.  Share your struggles and your successes.

I have decided to be passionate about these things, even though it was written for Hannah it is equally true for Ethan. In the worlds of Ed Emberley, "Go away, big green monster! and DON'T COME BACK!

Letter M and Marshmallow Painting

After nap-time and a quick trip to the mailbox it was time to explore the Letter M box.  Usually the first time the box is opened I let them explore without much interference. Other than then occasional explanation of how something works or the name of an item I stay pretty quiet. 

Mirror and Magnifying glass ( Hannah calls it a finding glass).

Clearly he knows how to use it.

This is a video of Ethan finding the letter M upside down.  Hehehehehe.

Today, we also painted with Marshmallows.

Ready to go.  I saw this at Childcareland.com

Hannah stamps away in blue.

Ethan very quickly mixed his colors.

Peering at the paint soaked marshmallow.

Squeezing the marshmallow with all his might.

I caught her just before she took a bite.

Hannah's marshmallow masterpiece.

Ethan.

Letter M

As promised, this week we will be working on the letter M.  As I prepared these activities it was a bit of a switch to think about how Ethan would also be doing these things along with Hannah and I.  Not only is he more than willing to be involved, he is also very insistent.  Here is what we will be doing for the letter M.  

Letter M: Mitten, mask card, M bean bag, mirror, monkey, medicine, money, marbles, magnifying glass, mushroom, music box, magnet, and the M letters.

Money Sorting (Loonies, Quarters, Dimes, Nickels, and pennies).  The coin in each little container is hot glued in place  for sorting reference.  They will easily pop off when the activity is all done.

Magnetic vs Non-magnetic items. The items can be sorted or just explored.

This activity is especially for Ethan.  Pipe cleaner pieces inside a bottle.
I saw this on Pre-School Play.

The pipe cleaner pieces will move up and down the bottle as he moves the magnet wand.

Mirror images.  I drew shapes (half the shape) on a card .  When the card is held up to the mirror,  the image is completed.  There are some extra cards for Hannah to make her own.

Happy face and a heart.

Rectangle and a triangle.

Stay tuned for some more M fun throughout the week.

Kristina

Linked to:
 1+1+1=1 Tot School

To Grandmother's House We Go.

As I said yesterday, we spent the last week visiting Andrew's parents and had a very good time.  We were cut short by a day due to driving conditions which was a bummer but better than getting into trouble driving home.  

Enjoying a graham cracker on the way up.

His cheeks were so pink. Happy to be eating.

Eyes on the road.

We had "Christmas day".

Which lead right into some relaxation for Daddy.

Playing in the tent.

Peaking out.

Hannah wanted to read ALL week.

Horsing around.  I'd say he caught a 26lb boy.

Hannah got up so very early in the morning.  So early I wasn't even up to take the picture.

Ethan and Hannah loved playing on Grandma's bed.

Andrew's Dad

Yes, I was there too.

Some "special" pudding for the car ride home.

We are Back!

It's true.  We are back from our week away and I am back from being away from my bloggy hiatus.  It's been nearly a month but the time went so quickly I can scarcely believe it.  As a family, we have really enjoyed some great concentrated family time both before and after the new year.  Let me catch you up on the happenings.  We had a wonderful time celebrating the Christmas.  My unspoken goal was to have a none rushed and Christ centered Christmas time.  While my husband might disagree on how busy we were for the holidays, I think we succeeded in both, which is partially the reason for the bloggy hiatus.

We enjoyed a great visit from Andrew's brother.  The kids loved playing with their Uncle.  Then after Christmas We spent a week away at Andrew's parents house (we got back yesterday).  Just before we left Hannah showed some interest in using the potty, so we have also been working on the potty training.  In addition, I have been planning the letters M-Z, as well as what will follow once we have completed the alphabet.

Stay tuned I have some pictures from our week away, some thoughts on potty training, and then on Monday  the kids and I will start letter M.

An example of true love.

Andrew and I are going on a date this afternoon.  I have been planning it for awhile and I am really  looking forward to it.  My mom is coming over to watch the kids and then we are going out for the afternoon.  This morning, when Andrew woke up he put on dressy clothes in preparation, as well as some of my favorite cologne.  He makes me smile.  Knowing that we still had a little while before we left I got ready but I left my pajamas on (dirty kid fingers).  I came down the stairs with my hair done, and earrings on and asked Andrew how I looked.  Don't squirm, I wasn't testing Andrew.  I know him well enough to know that this question does not make him anxious.  I knew he would tell me what he really thought.

He glanced up and gave my a sideways look, and comment that I looked nice but he should change because I had decided to go casual. hahahahaha  After making sure he knew I was wearing pajamas, his next comment was that if I had a headache and was more comfortable wearing my pajamas it was fine with him.  He added that he did like it when I dressed up but it didn't matter. hehehehehe I love Andrew.  He allows me to be me and it is a blessing from God to know that he loves me for who I am and not what I wear.

I did however, use a gift card to buy a new outfit and surprised him. :D

Gingerbread Houses

Yesterday, my sister came over to do gingerbread houses with the kids.  The best part was she had it already to go.  She made the houses out of graham crackers and milk cartons.  Royal icing was used to stick  it all together and to stick the candies on also.

Here is Hannah and Teresa already to go.

Ethan waiting.  If you look along the roof line you can see where Ethan has already taken a bite.

Hannah used a tiny little knife to put some icing on each candy and then she "glued " them onto the house.

Happy girl.

Ethan enjoyed eating.

Pulling off candies so he could eat more.

Enjoying the candy.